walking on sunshine

I'm pretty sure I'm an awesome mom

2008-01-10T19:23:00.000-08:00

" Hey Mom, some kids from the Disney Channel are here for the grand opening of the hotel. You should bring the girls by."

This is a message I received from my son late this afternoon. He is a lifeguard at The Great Wolf Lodge, a new family water park resort in our town.

Well, I've taken my younger daughters to a great many Radio Disney appearances in the past as it is a fantastic way to win free tickets to a lot of concerts and events. So, my eleven year old daughter and I jumped in the car and dashed to the hotel.

Holy smoke! The throng of humanity attending this event was amazing. Like any grand opening, there was all sorts of entertainment. The real draw, though, was for the teen Disney idols. There were hundreds of tweens and children there. At least one parent, if not both, were with them. The kids were smiling, anxious and full of anticipation at the very thought that they were in the same building with these idols, much less moments away from meeting them face to face!

As my daughter and I were making our way to the back of the mega-line to meet these kids I heard a high pitched squeal and saw my daughter embracing a little girl friend she has known for years. I made eye contact with her mom and I know we both felt "Thank goodness! Another mom I know in the midst of this insanity!"

Our girls dashed off together to try to catch a glimpse of the mega stars through a window. I waited in line for a while then abandoned my spot to find my child. Giving up my spot, it turned out, meant that we would never get to meet these kids.
My daughter was a little disappointed when we tried to get back in line and it was closed, but she still had a fun time. We got one autograph from someone who is apparently mildly famous, but we've never heard of.

After about an hour or so of the Disney frenzy we were caught up in I started thinking to myself, "The person these kids are dying to meet is a human being, just like we are. A precious child of God. They are no more important in the grand scheme of things than we are." Of course the major difference is that this kid had kissed Myley Cyrus and the rest of us are average Joe's, going to school and working regular jobs.

For me, the real pleasure was getting to spend time with my daughter. She enjoyed being with all those kids and her chance meeting with a friend. She knows that I gave up an evening, without complaint, to take her to this event. She will remember through out her life time that her mom did these things with her and she, in turn, will remember that when she is a mom. That was the real treasure of the evening.

Thanksgiving grocery shopping

2007-11-21T05:25:00.000-08:00

I love Thanksgiving! I think that sentiment is held by many Americans as it represents a day that is full of family, food, football and precious little commercialism.

As always though, the meal must be well thought out and planned for. Throughout the past 23 years of marriage, motherhood and holiday eating, I've learned every family member has certain favorites that HAVE to be on the table for that special meal.

My husband has a sweet childhood story involving LeSeur peas and pearl onions, so of course we have those. My oldest and her grandmother put together a special fruit salad every year. My other three children love a certain mashed potato casserole that I make every year (that turns out different EVERY time). And, if stuffing and jellied cranberry sauce were all that we had, that would be fine with me. Yum! Yum!

So, last night as I walked into my local Albertson's, I heard the voice of a woman coming in right behind me. She seemed to be muttering something to herself. Nosy-body that I am, I tried to listen. She was talking to herself about the various items on sale in the store. I wandered an aisle or so more and heard someone else murmering to themselves. They seemed to have forgotten something; an ingredient to grandma's special pumpkin pie perhaps?

Strangely, this same thing happened over and over again while I was meandering through the aisles. I thought either 1)everyone was going slightly insane before Thanksgiving or 2)they didn't make as complete a grocery list as they thought they had and now had to re-create a meal in their minds. It was really kind of funny.
All these "normal" members of society were perusing around a grocery store talking to themselves. I was probably doing the same thing..."Cranberry sauce! I need more jellied cranberry sauce!"

At the end of my shopping spree for last minute items, $147.00 later, I felt satisfied that my Thanksgiving meal shopping was complete. No family meal treasures left unattended to. Now all I have to do is cook ALL DAY tomorrow.

This evening, as I lay stretched out on the sofa my husband says "We have plenty of charcoal and mesquite chips to smoke the turkey,right?"

Back to the store...I wander the aisles murmering to myself "Charcoal, mesquite chips. Don't forget charcoal and mesquite chips!"

Happy Thanksgiving!

William Tell Mom

2007-10-24T18:19:00.001-07:00

This mom's rendition of the William Tell Overature is too funny not to share with every one I know!

Homework...ahhh

2007-10-24T17:41:00.000-07:00

It's 7:42pm and I'm just waiting for the next "mama, I need help".

My sixth grader is doing her math homework and her father, the math wiz, is at a business dinner.

Asking me to help with math is liking asking the kid next to you in class, who got 17 out of 25 wrong on the last test, for help. I feel like an idiot.

There are times I think "I'm an adult. Just by virtue of the fact that I'm 35 years older than she is means I ought to understand this, hands down. It doesn't matter that I didn't understand it 35 years ago I should get it NOW!"

Language Arts, I'm an ace. World Geography, fantastic. Science, dancing in the danger zone. Math, bomb.

I'm watching the clock ticking thinking that surely my husband will be home any minute to get me out of this. "Wait til daddy gets home. He'll explain it all."
That statement is followed by "but don't jump on daddy to help the minute he gets home; he needs to wind down."

I'm thankful for these silly cunundrums (sp?). I enjoy having a child to help. It wasn't that long ago that my three older children were sitting at the kitchen table doing their homework, all stuck on math and dad stuck at work. Two of those three are grown-ups now and the third is a very independent high school freshman.

This sixth grader of mine truly is a joy filled human being. She doesn't get discouraged too frequently and when she does, she just has a little teary melt down and picks herself right back up again. That's what we girls do.

So, as I suffer a little angst wondering when my husband will be home and what the next hideous math problem will be, I offer up thanks for this lovely little creature who needs my help.

A fun weekend!

2007-10-15T17:39:00.000-07:00

Through the generosity of a co-worker's daughter and son-in-law and by the grace of God, I had a FANTASTIC weekend with some girl friends.

Let me preface this by saying that I do believe that it is important for women to just get away from the real world every now and then and enjoy each other's company. That's not to say that the same isn't true for men. My husband likes to go hiking in the woods with his friends, hunt, etc.

But, this is about ME!

So, my friend and co-worker arranged this fun weekend whereby she, another friend and co-worker and I spent the weekend on a lovely houseboat on Beavers Bend Lake in Broken Bow, Oklahoma. My friend's son-in-law owns the marina and treated us to this wonderful weekend.

We spent our weekend yaking, singing (loudly and badly),talking about our combined 15 children, watching movies, boating, tubing and EATING! It was a blast! Not only did I enjoy our beautiful surroundings, but I got to know these girls even better and we learned so much more about each other.

I love my girl friends. Not only the gals I spent the weekend with, but all of those special women in my life. Women just know how to communicate. Everyone brings a different perspective to situations and conversations. It's always interesting to hear what they have to say. Sometimes I'll hear a perspective that I hadn't thought of, sometimes I'll offer one that someone else hasn't thought of. To my way of thinking, girlfriends are arm chair psychologists sent to us by God.

I want to have a weekend like this every month! Truly I felt like a teenager again.

Don't get me wrong. We all said that it would be so much fun for our families to get together and go camping some weekend soon. We would all love that.

We have gone camping once or twice a year with family friends for years. I really do think that we, as a country, have gotten away from the basics of fun and the family.

It is FUN to play UNO in a tent with your childhood friends while your parents are outside cooking. It is FUN, as parents to grill steaks and cook dinner and yak while your kids are off with their friends.

It is FUN to be out in nature (even if set up and break down is taxing) every now and then. We come back EXHAUSTED, but happy.

So, adults of the world... enjoy your friends and family! Cherish your time together. Realize that a weekend in the woods is the exception, not the norm. Make the most of your time together!

I WAS looking forward to...

2007-09-26T19:11:00.000-07:00

Every Fall I look forward to premier week on TV. I try to get all dinner, homework, household chores, etc. taken care of each night of premier week so that I can jump on the couch, cuddle under a blanket and watch the highly tauted premiers.

This season, in particular, I WAS looking most forward to the spin-off series from Grey's Anatomy, Private Practice.

ICK!!!

It was like the writers thought they had a good idea because of Addison's popularity in Grey's, but she just isn't leading character material. Frankly, she's silly. The premise of the practice she joins is fairly un-realistic.The story lines were over-dramatic with the characters having the stupidest conversations over the bodies of a dying young women in labor and an old guy having a stroke during sperm donation. GROSS!...and sad.

The best acting came from Amy Breneman (sp?). She was great in Judging Amy and mediocre in this, but still the best character of the show by far. She plays a psychologist and her story line involved a woman who lost her marbles over the death of her child.

My husband and I were near giddy for the season premier of CSI: MIAMI. We made sure that we would NOT be disturbed. "Yes, you may watch it with us" we told our daughters. "No, you may not speak until a commercial" we commanded. After the first commercial break we thought that surely the good stuff was coming. Nope, never came. Boring as all get out. We just looked at each other with a "Is that all there is?" sort of disappointment.

So, I may be watching football this fall. No, I don't watch football.

I think I'll read.

Proud of my young adult!

2007-09-21T19:01:00.000-07:00

While I'm boasting about my kids...

Our oldest daughter will turn 21 in two weeks. Holy cow! Am I really old enough to be the mother of a 21 year old!?

This young lady has demonstrated a level of responsibility and poise that would make any parent just burst with pride, and I'm the lucky parent!

She holds a full-time job as a front desk agent and concierge at a four star resort. She is going to school full-time. She is buying a car, paying the insurance, paying on school loans and paying rent all by herself. She amazes us.

Her freshman year in college she lived in the dorm and didn't care much for it. She lived at home her sophomore year and didn't care much for it. I don't think it was us so much as it was her desire to be independent, not have to tell anyone when she'll be home or have to check in. Can't say as I blame her.

Yes, she's a young adult, but she is still our child. The whole parent thing doesn't vanish the minute they become an adult. We will always worry if she isn't home by what we consider a reasonable time. If you live under our roof, you have to check-in - no matter how old you are. We asked her "what on earth do you need to be doing ANYWHERE at 3 in the morning?" Her boyfriend turned out to be an unlikely ally when he agreed with us! I don't think it was so much that she really wanted to be out that late as much as she wanted to know that she COULD because she's an adult and adults don't have to answer to anyone.

So, she saved her money over the summer. She put out feelers all over the place that she was looking for roommates. Eventually she found a house and moved out just before the school year started.

Now she does things like turn off all the lights that aren't necessary, check the thermostat and have her daddy come fix a running toilet (water bill was out of control!). It's funny to hear her talk about the cost of things, though she's always been a good bargain shopper. I just see a level of conscientiousness that wasn't there until she had to pay the bill herself.

As her parents we do wish that we could help out more. She will always have a roof over her head and food in her tummy at our home. At her home she will have a sense of pride and accomplishment that comes with hard work and dedication.

I'm proud of my kid - oh - young adult!

Proud of my kid Part II

2007-09-21T09:52:00.000-07:00

As a post script to my previous post. Thirty one kids came to the first meeting of the anime club! My daughter was very excited about the turn-out. Next week they will elect officers!

Proud of my kid

2007-09-20T05:26:00.000-07:00

My fifteen year old daughter is a freshman in high school.

This past year brought some dramatic (and traumatic) changes to her life.

Last October we moved from the house where she'd lived her entire life to a new community fifteen miles away. She had to change schools two months into the school year. Our new neighborhood isn't as accessible to as many places via bicycle as our former neighborhood and she rode her bike EVERYWHERE. She was entrenched in the friendships that 14 year old girls cherish.

While excited about our new home - we bought a newer, more light-filled, slightly larger house - it tore me up to see how much the move affected her. She tried so hard to keep up a brave face, but there were many, many tears.

Her new school seemed enormous to her. She didn't think she would know a soul or ever make the kind of friends she had in the old neighborhood.
The first couple of days of school were OK. Turns out her voice teacher from her former school was the voice teacher at her new school. When she saw my daughter she scooped her up in a big hug and welcomed her. I said prayers of thanksgiving for that teacher remaining in her life.

My daughter made friends quickly. Initially not the kind of "soul friends" that she had before, but the kind you could definitely chat on the phone or have a sleep-over with. Her circle of friends expanded over the year. I made sure that we imported her friends from the old neighborhood every few weeks or took her back to spend time with them.

Now we're on to a new year and a new school. Ninth grade can be a scary thing. Her school has 980 FRESHMEN! It is important to get involved and find a niche. There are many clubs and activities to choose from, but the whole thing can be amazingly overwhelming.

My daughter has always loved to draw and has a particular passion for anime art,movies and books. She loves the Japanese culture and language. She can sing several songs (LONG songs!) in Japanese and has a Japanese dictionary that she uses to translate words all the time.

Her former school had an Anime Club, but the high school did not. So, she decided that they needed one. She found a teacher who was willing to be their sponsor. Together they nailed a date for the first meeting. They got all of the club information onto the announcements. The teacher told me that she has had quite a few kids tell her they are excited about the club. Today is their first meeting!

I'm very proud of my daughter. I'm proud of her fortitude, her ambition and her leadership. Mostly, though, I'm proud of the lovely, faith-filled young lady she has become. During this trying year she truly did put her trust in God. There were times when I felt, as a mother, I simply wasn't able to make things as right as I wanted them to be for her. She has a quiet dignity and faith that amaze me.

Poor O.J.

2007-09-18T07:32:00.000-07:00

Poor O.J. Simpson. Were Lindsey and Paris and Nicole taking ALL of the bad limelight away from you?

Today's kids have way too much...

2007-09-15T14:23:00.000-07:00

Today's kids have way too much of...EVERYTHING!

As I was writing earlier about teens and text messaging I was thinking about how, in general, kids are handed everything on a silver platter.

The platters around our house look more like Dixie paper plates. The recipients are good kids who are thankful for the feast.

What IS on those plates? A heaping helping life lessons consisting of: how to manage money, how to bargain shop, how to get along with others and how to be grateful and appreciative.

Just as I was formulating all of this in my mind I came across this article by Tom Purcell talking about college kids having way too much and I could relate to the college experience he had.

September 14, 2007

Boy, are college kids living like kings. I feel bad for them. According to The Associated Press, many universities are tearing down traditional dormitories in favor of upscale living quarters — posh facilities that offer private suites, granite countertops, designer furniture and satellite TV.

Today's college kids don't have to worry about much. Maid and laundry services are now available. Heck, kids don't even have to pack up the station wagon when moving in. Moving companies do that for them.

Why are universities pampering these kids? They have to to attract students.

More than 90 percent of today's students had their own bedroom. They aren't used to sharing. They aren't used to working hard to attain things, either. Their dual-income parents gave them every nicety our prosperous civilization offers.

My college experience was certainly different.

To come up with my Penn State tuition, my father worked overtime, while I labored as a stone mason. Even with college loans, I had just enough money to buy what I needed (a college education) but never enough to buy what I wanted (nice clothes, a car, even a Friday-night pizza).

I worked some unpleasant jobs in college: dishwasher, janitor, handyman, grass cutter. I worked as a bouncer, too, which involved kicking drunk people out of bars and mopping up that which some patrons couldn't keep down.

I sold my plasma. During the first semester of my junior year, I went to a medical clinic twice a week. They sucked out my blood, spun off the plasma, then gave me my blood back. Not only did I make $10 bucks every time I went, I noticed that one beer had the effect of three — that translated into great savings at the pub.

Of course, selling my plasma nearly killed me. When my mother discovered how I'd gotten so pale and gaunt, my father had to keep her from strangling me.

To save money my senior year, I managed a rooming house. It was a big old dump of a place. It was allegedly haunted, too. A high school fellow who lived there shot himself in 1932 — in the same room I lived in. I never saw the ghost, though.

That job involved shoveling coal to keep the furnace going, picking up knocked-over garbage cans to keep the rats and raccoons away, and settling disputes with some very colorful tenants who were always squabbling about something.

My parents visited me there once and when they saw my room, the centerpiece of which was a lumpy bed sitting on cinder blocks, and the bathroom I shared with 14 others (don't ask), my mother grew as pale as I was after selling my plasma twice a week for three months.

Yet I was WAY better off than today's college kids. It was by NOT living in the lap of luxury that I enjoyed many memorable experiences — experiences that helped me develop.

Because I was broke, I was forced to work odd jobs. I worked with interesting people from all economic levels. I gained valuable insight into their lives and their struggles.

Because I lived in a dump, I was forced to share a bathroom and kitchen with total strangers. I went on to become good friends with some of these people. I learned how to interact, socialize and get along — skills that have been helpful in the business world and in life.

I graduated from Penn State eager and hungry to succeed. I found a job as a writer and was able to buy my first brand-new car, a 1984 Pontiac Sunbird. There is no satisfaction greater than that.

Many of today's college kids won't enjoy any of these experiences. Too many, thanks to parents who lavished them with all kinds of things they didn't need, will remain spoiled, self-centered and full of self-importance.

When they finally go out into the real world, they won't be happy to find what reality has waiting for them. Like I said, I feel bad for them — I feel bad their college experience won't be one-tenth as valuable as mine.

I might not have been quite as desperate, but I did do everything from waiting tables (both restaurant and cocktail) and babysitting to writing press releases and working at the country club. My husband worked at a grocery store all four years of college and supplemented that with furniture delivery. We both enjoyed our experiences, even if it could be tiring, and neither of us would change it for anything.

Our children have worked from the time that they've been old enough to do so. You can see that sense of pride on their faces when they are able to purchase something that they've saved up for.

My family was upper-middle class when I was growing up. When I got to the age where kids started to pressure their parents for nice clothes, cars etc. I remember my dad telling me "Even if I could give you the moon, I wouldn't. Not because I don't love you, but because you need to learn how to get these things on your own."

I've known plenty of kids who have never had to drive a used car, or have been given credit cards with carte blanche privileges. They might get a little slap on the wrist when the bill gets out of hand, but the chastisement seems to come with a nod and a wink.

What is there to look forward to when you've already had it all?

Texting,driving and teens-- horror of horrors!

2007-09-15T08:56:00.000-07:00

I got home from work on Monday just in time to catch the season premier of the Dr. Phil show.

The topic was teenagers, texting and driving.

Anyone with teen drivers, or even adult drivers who are addicted to texting, needs to see this.

Here's an excerpt from the season premier show...

"My daughter, Chelsea, is absolutely addicted to texting and driving," says Candace. "Every time Chelsea pulls out of the driveway, my spine just tenses up."

"From the minute I walk out the door, I'm completely on the phone with texting," says Chelsea, who received her driver's license four months ago. She estimates that she sends about 5,000 texts a month. "I don't feel afraid that I'm going to get into a car accident while texting because I feel that I'm a good enough texter."

Chelsea reflects on the recent tragedy of five cheerleaders who were killed in a car accident. "I think [they] died because they weren't great texters," she says. "I feel bad but I don't think that they should have been doing it. A good texter must be able to text with one hand, one finger. They have to be able to text in under 30 seconds with T9 word and without looking at the phone."

Since Chelsea has been licensed, she has had three accidents due to texting. "I did get pulled over for going 80 in a 55 mile-per-hour zone," she says. "I didn't realize there was a speed change."

"Short of taking [the cell phone] away from her, I don't know how to stop her from actually doing it," says Candace. "I expect to get a phone call and find that she's been in a pretty serious accident because of her text messaging."

Oh my goodness!

What these kids are doing is terrifying and we, as parents, are allowing it! I believe that parents are allowing their children to walk all over them - to the detriment of the child's safety and those around them.

Let me tell you a little something I've learned about texting and cell phones over the last few years...

TEXTING CAN BE DISABLED ON A CELL PHONE.Don't let the cell phone companies tell you otherwise.

One of my children got grounded and the punishment was loss of their texting. After a lengthy phone call to Sprint, who told me it couldn't be done, the texting was turned off. The child got it back much later, but we were able to temporarily suspend it.

Don't let your children intimidate you! Time and again the world of privilege that surrounds us seems to give our children an unspoken right of privilege that, in my day, we had to EARN. I had to show that I was responsible and then I was allowed privileges like driving a car, or staying our until midnight.

Don't be afraid to do it. They won't love you less, in spite of the anger that will ooze from their very pores. Look at those stories on Dr. Phil. How many of our children have narrowly escaped these tragedies and we don't even know it?

Do you want a job? Ettiquette please!

2007-09-13T20:36:00.000-07:00

In my job at a major company in the human resources department I am ALWAYS on the phone talking to potential candidates.

If I'm not calling them to schedule them for interviews, they are calling me to inquire about the status of their applications. While a great many of them have nice phone manners and a good business acumen, I am continually amazed at how many people lack the basic skills to carry on a very minimal business conversation.

A few phone pointers:

Introduce yourself

SPEAK CLEARLY and ENUNCIATE

Act like I'm a potential employer, not your mom

Don't assume the job is yours

And in an interview:

Wear appropriate clothing

DON'T SLOUCH

Don't tell us what you are or are not willing to do

Don't tell us the money isn't good enough

Act interested

Know something about the company and ask good questions

Kids should be taught how to carry on a good conversation with a potential employer in junior high school. Knowing how to introduce yourself, look an adult right in the eye, give a good hand-shake, be able to give a direct answer are all skills any young adult should launch in to the real world with.

This summer a dear friend's son was applying for an internship. He had missed a call from the company he was hoping to intern for and called them back.

While his mom stood by listening as he called she heard this from her highly intelligent, well-educated son.

"Hi, you called me."

She was stupefied! "No! You're supposed to say "This is _____, may I please speak with____"

She really thought that he knew how to handle a business phone call.

The minute he got off the phone she gave him the Evelyn Wood version of how to handle a business call.

Some folks just aren't comfortable on the phone, but those first impressions ARE important.
If you can make a good impression on the phone, the likelihood of getting a face to face interview is far greater.

Parents, teach your children well!

Labor Day Weekend, Part II

2007-09-12T19:15:00.000-07:00

Ok, my weekend did actually start in New Orleans. My best friend, known in the blogosphere as Right Wing Sparkle - and I met one of her blog friends, Greta of kissmygumbo.com, in the French Quarter. They are members of a conservative group of women bloggers know as "The Cotillion." They decided that, since we happened to be there on a weekend known in the gay community as Southern Decadence, it would be great fun to ask the gay folks wandering around the French Quarter a few questions! Hot topics that week included the re-building of New Orleans and the whole Sen. Larry Craig debacle.

After the biggest daquiri I've ever had, and a beer, and a quick trip to St. Louis Cathedral (I was fearful for body and soul), we marched our little selves right down to Bourbon St. Holy Cow!

The audio is horrible and there's a bar scene that goes on a little too long, but the folks that we visited with were all quite nice. Granted, nobody bought us a drink and the atomosphere was surreal.

Greta was the bravest of us all, Sparkle got her game face on pretty quick (but she was ahead of me be two beers) and I was happily the cameraman.

View if you dare!

My Labor Day Weekend...a bit late

2007-09-12T17:53:00.000-07:00

Every year my mom and I go to our family reunion in Biloxi, Mississippi. It is a BLAST!!! We have a LARGE Irish Catholic family and I love seeing all of my cousins and aunts and uncles and assorted extended family and friends who are considered family and so on and so on. Mom's birthday is always on Labor Day weekend and that just adds to the festivity. She turned 81 this year!

The family reunion is always a regatta with everyone sailing whatever they own. It can be a sail board, a sunfish, a catamaran, whatever. An elaborate handicap system has been devised over the years and the whole thing is fabulous fun! This event takes place every Labor Day weekend at my aunt and uncle's home on the back bay.

This year it took place on the same aunt and uncle's... lot. Their home was lost to Katrina. It is still a beautiful place to be. They rebuilt their pier, the swimming pool stayed and they kept the port-a-cache. Nearly everyone lost their boats, but we still had a fantastic time. This year I feel the celebration was especially jubilant because everyone was ALIVE!

One of the many things that I love about our family reunions is that everyone is always happy to see each other. I never hear any mutterings about "Oh great, so and so is here." It's always a joyful occasion. I've heard friends complain about having to go to family reunions or gatherings and I'm always so thankful that we don't have that animosity in our family.

The weekend was even more special because we celebrated the 25th anniversary of my cousin Kevin's ordination to the priesthood. He celebrated Mass at his childhood parish and it was followed by a lovely dinner in the parish hall.

I'm thankful for so many things in my life, but truly this big, wonderful family is what I am most thankful for!

I'm Jumping on the Blog train!

2007-09-09T11:05:00.000-07:00

I have a couple of friends that do this blog thing and I enjoy reading their posts. They're always so interesting, informative and provocative.

I've thought "Hm, I might give blogging a go" but , frankly, I'm not very political OR computer literate. Fortunately, my husband is both, so I know I'll have help.

I AM very conservative and have no troubles expressing my thoughts along those lines, so I suppose whatever I pop out with is what I pop out with!

Speaking of which...

My family spent part of this weekend working at our church festival. My husband spent all day in the kitchen (nothing sexier than a man in a kitchen!). My daughters worked the face painting booth and my friend and I sold concessions in the tent that had the most direct sunlight in the whole place! The evening was topped off by three hours of bingo (we didn't win a dime). We had FUN!

I enjoyed seeing all of the families walking around. Young couples with children in strollers. Empty nesters enjoying each others company. Grandparents, their adult children and all the grandkids meeting up to play bingo. Friends gathering and just spending time together. This is my kind of event!

Frequently I think "what on earth has become of our family system". We used to have roots, spend time with each other, gather for a meal, spend a day just watching movies together.

I know, in part, what has happened and can relate to a bit of it. Yes, it's two full-time working parents. I KNOW, I KNOW! Both parents have to work full-time to keep the money ball rolling. I, myself, work part-time. It certainly benefits our family and I am very thankful for the fact that my five hours a day are while my children are in school. I see them off and I'm there when they get home.

Several years ago a friend of mine, who has four children, told me that her mother never seemed to have time for her when she was growing up. She always wished she could spend just a little alone time with her mom. One day, out of the blue, her mother pulled out a kitchen stool, scooped her up on to it and said "let's make cookies!".

This was the only memory my friend had of truly spending time with her mother. She was 35 years old when she told me this. It made me sad for her. I remember hundreds of times making cookies with my mom, just the two of us going to the grocery together, mom doing "cafeteria duty" twice a month at my elementary school. I was always so excited to see her there!

Mom is a realtor. She became one in the early 70's when housewives were jumping on the real estate wagon. She had to carry her typewriter and multiple carbon copy contracts with her wherever she went. She chose this particular profession because she felt she could earn extra money for our family and still be a cafeteria mom, girl scout mom, car pool mom. She did a magnificent job! As I grew older I realized that she worked really hard, not just a real estate, but as a mom as well.

Do you know what? I still enjoy spending time with my mother. We're comfortable together. I don't feel like there is an elderly stranger in my life, or someone who now needs care and it's a pain in the neck.
Yes, she needs occasional help to go to doctors appointments or shopping; but I see this time with her as a privilege.

With our four children my husband and I take them for "special time" to spend time with each one individually. It doesn't have to break the bank. We can go get a snow cone and go to the dollar movie and they love it! Yes, they even enjoy just that little trip to the grocery store when it is just the two of us.

Of course we all ache for our own quiet time on occasion. As adults we need that time to re-focus. I enjoy having the occasional "girls night out" or a rare weekend get-a-way. My husband likes to go on the occasional hunting trip. Neither of us begrudges the other that time and we think that it makes us better parents as well as a better couple. Naturally, there is "date night" too! You have to take time to enjoy your spouse and re-visit the dating days of yore! After 23 years of marriage we can still put on a smooch in front of our kids that makes them say "eeeewwww!"

Several years ago Iris Krasnow wrote a book called Surrendering to Motherhood.
Here is a little bit about Iris and her book

"We can always go back to our big jobs; we can never go back to the times when our children were young and needy. Soon, too soon, your cuddly babies will be stubble-faced teenagers going off to college. So be there, now, as much as you can," writes Krasnow, formerly the national feature writer for United Press International. Now an author and professor in the School of Communications at American University, Krasnow left her job in daily journalism when, at the age of 39, she gave birth to twins and she and her husband were suddenly parents of four sons, ages three and under. Her children captured her, forcing her to, happily, climb down the ladder into her messy kitchen and living room As she writes: "Having small kids is like the last day of summer vacation, when you are savoring ever second coming at you, when you merge with that wonderful, intense, central part of Being -- the sun on your face, the sand at your feet. My children finally forced me to stop, to be present in the present, and to be happy at that destination. Immersed in the glory of my kids, I abandoned the relentless desire to climb higher and higher."

It is a joy to me to read about women whose families are a joy to them!